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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970043">When the Evening Fell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra'>idra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of October [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Losers (2010)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fix-It of Sorts, Friendship, M/M, Recovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and company have a nice dinner, they talk about stuff, and he begins to forgive Cougar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen, Jake Jensen &amp; Jake Jensen's Niece, Jake Jensen &amp; Jake Jensen's Sister, Jake Jensen &amp; Jolene, Jake Jensen &amp; Linwood "Pooch" Porteous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of October [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1154441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When the Evening Fell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am back at work, so fic will not come as frequently as I wanted it to. </p><p>Also, I didn't mean for this to turn into what's basically going to amount to a series.  This is a sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413483">How Many Nights</a> which is itself a sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362285">On the Grey</a>.  When I think of a good title for the series, I will make a series page for it.  I know there will be at least two more parts, but I don't know when they will appear. </p><p>Prompt was Stars, title comes from the song "When the Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw. <span class="small">I know it's not his original song, but I love his version.</span></p><p>Also, yes, I know the story has nothing to do with October, but... meh.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It doesn’t take as long as Jake thought it would to convince Pooch and Jolene (and by that he means convince Jolene who tells Pooch what they’re doing) to move to Billings.  Jolene immediately finds work in one of the hospitals, and Pooch finds the perfect location for a garage for himself.  Since Jake is still looking for places to renovate, he becomes the childcare provider so that no one has to pay for daycare or babysitters.  Not that Pup is hard to look after, Jake thinks to himself as he and Pup play outside on the swings.  He teaches the boy when Pup is willing to sit still, but often, Pup just wants to play.  Since Jensen has no lack of energy himself, he’s happy to go outside and play on the swing set playground he’d built for Beth when they’d moved to Montana.  </p><p>Jensen also is busy searching for a place to live for himself, even though part of him doesn’t want to find anywhere until Cougar has looked at it and approved.  After all, Beth was right.  Jensen knows eventually he’ll be able to accept the fact that Cougar is alive and it won’t be long after that before he’s able to forgive Cougar and take him back.  So Jensen procrastinates as much as he can on finding his own place until Jess, one night when they’re all having dinner together (minus Cougar because Beth met him at the door and kicked him as hard as she could in the shin and told him he wasn’t welcome until Jake forgave him--Jake’s baby niece did not mess around) looks Jensen in the eye.  “It’s enough, Jake.  Fix the space over the garage into an apartment for yourself.  You will never find a house that you will want to live in until you’ve accepted Cougar back.  It’ll give you and James,” at that Pup scoffs and scowls until Jess corrects herself, “you and Pup something to do with all your energy.  And Beth can jump in when she gets home and help.  There shouldn’t be too much that will need power tools.  But that is what’s going to happen.” </p><p>Jake flushes and ducks his head, knowing when he’s been had.  Jess has probably just been waiting for him to ask if he could renovate that apartment-- it’s not really an apartment, not yet, but it has the potential to be.  And it would give him and Pup something to do while they’re stuck hanging around playing in the backyard.  “Thanks, Jessie.” </p><p>“You’re an idiot, Jake, but I love you.”  She chuckles and looks back at Jolene.  “So, as I was saying, my work is looking for good nurses.  I think you’d be a good fit.” </p><p>“I don’t know, Jess, a nursing home?”  </p><p>Jake tunes them out as he focuses on his food.  Pooch elbows him and raises an eyebrow.  “What?” </p><p>“You don’t talk much anymore.  What’s going on in your head?”</p><p>“You don’t want to know.  Trust me.”  Jake smiles and shrugs.  “Just not much to talk about anymore.” </p><p>“Whatever you say,” Pooch mumbles, going back to his food.</p><p>When everyone’s done with dinner, Jake gets to his feet and begins carrying dishes into the kitchen.  He startles a little when Jolene bumps him.  “Hey Handsome,” she murmurs.  “You doing okay?” </p><p>“I don’t know.”  Jake swallows hard.  “I want to forgive and forget, but I spent two years trying to get over his death.  I can’t just...” </p><p>“I know, Handsome.”  Jolene hugs him, staying quiet until Jake wraps his arms around her.  “You think it was easy for me, or Jess and Beth, when you all came back from the dead?  No, baby, it wasn’t as long, but Linwood was my everything.  The only thing that kept me going was I didn’t have his wedding ring, so I knew...  I <i>knew</i> he was still out there and that you and Cougar would do anything to make sure he got back to me and James.”  Jake closes his eyes, letting out a shaky breath as he buries his face against her neck.  “And you...  You’re the only thing Jess has in this world besides Beth.  She doesn’t trust men beyond you and your team.  Jake, I don’t say this to hurt you, but when we went to get your effects...  She was broken.  That’s why I moved closer to her and Beth.  I was scared--honest to God, <i>scared</i> that she wouldn’t be able to handle things and she’d...” </p><p>“She wouldn’t have.  Not with Beth there.” </p><p>“Do you know how often she would send Beth over to Beth’s friends houses?  Let Beth go over for days on end, not keeping track of her?” Jolene pulls back and catches Jake’s face in her hands, making Jake look at her.  “Jake, she was drinking and... there were shady characters coming over, dropping things off and leaving as quickly as possible.” </p><p>“Fuck.”  Jake looks at Jolene then up to the doorway.  “She’s...” </p><p>“Clean and sober.  After you all came back the first time, I took Beth for six weeks and she went to rehab.  She hasn’t touched anything since, except for maybe a glass of wine with dinner.  I keep an eye on her, Jake.  She’s my sister, just like you’re my brother.  I am going to watch out for you both.”  She hugs him again, pulling back and hopping onto the counter next to the sink.  “Look, I didn’t tell you that because I think you need to forgive Carlos.  I said it because...  Because you need to know that it’s okay to keep being angry with Carlos.  It’s okay to not forgive him.  It took a long time for me to forgive Linwood.  There are still times I’m angry with him over making me believe he was dead.  But you have to do what’s best for you.  What’s best for your heart.  Because Jake, you love Carlos.  Any fool could see that.  You never got over him.  You never would’ve.  Oh, maybe you were doing okay, maybe you were able to live your life again, but you never would’ve truly moved on.” </p><p>Jake slumps against the counter, leaning forward until his head is in Jolene’s lap.  “I love him more than life itself, but every time I see him, I just...”</p><p>“I understand.  So, take your time.  Work on the apartment over the garage.  Convince Beth to let him come over and see you, and her, and Jess.  You are his family, the three of you.  Between the three of you and the three of us, we’re all that Carlos has.  He’s devastated, and, no, I don’t think that means you need to forgive and forget.  Just...  try working towards forgiveness.  You’ll never forget how you felt, but you can find it in your heart to forgive eventually.”  She kisses his left cheek and pats his right.  “Now, finish up these dishes, and then James would like to tell you, Beth, and Jess some good news.”  She winks at him before exiting the kitchen. </p><p>Jake turns back to the dishes, washing them and drying them quickly.  Beth and Pup are sitting together, playing video games.  Jake looks over to find Jess and Jolene chatting, Pooch poking at the toaster that Jake had been trying to fix.  He licks his lips and heads over to Pooch.  “Hey.  You think you could fix that?” </p><p>“I can try.  Together we can get it fixed.”  Pooch glances at Jake.  “You doing better?” </p><p>“I will be.  I just need a little more time.” </p><p>“Cool.”  Pooch claps him on the shoulder, then guides him over to the rest of the family.  “Yo, Pup.  You got something you wanted to announce?” </p><p>Pup jumps to his feet and turns to face his parents.  “I’m gonna be a big brudder!”  He bounces in place.  “Mama and Daddy said!” </p><p>Jake looks between Jolene and Pooch and when they both nod, he scoops Pooch into a hug, kissing him on the mouth.  “Oh my God, this is awesome!  I’m gonna be an uncle again!” </p><p>Pooch squirms, pushing Jake away.  “Ew.  Dude.  Don’t kiss me.  Kiss Jo,” he says, shoving Jake towards Jolene.  </p><p>Jake moves over to her as Jess moves over to Pooch.  Jake sinks down next to Jolene and places his hand on her belly.  “Congrats,” he murmurs, leaning into kiss Jolene’s cheek.  “I’m so happy for you guys.”</p><p>Jolene beams.  “We just found out for sure before we moved down here.  Then I wanted to tell you, but...  Linwood said we should wait.”  </p><p>“I love being told this way.  Have you told Cougar yet?” </p><p>“No.  Carlos will find out after my brother and sister do.” </p><p>Jake flushes and lays in Jolene’s lap, facing her stomach.  “Hey new puppy.  I’m your Uncle Jake and I’m going to be your best friend.” </p><p>“And he’ll be your biggest protector,” Jolene adds, stroking Jake’s hair.  She smiles when he looks up and beams.  “I think this calls for dessert, don’t you?” </p><p>“Jess, do we have ice cream?  Or cookies? Or... something?” </p><p>“I’m pretty sure Beth and James ate the last of the cookies before dinner.” </p><p>Jake makes a face at the two children, then beams.  “I’ll go get ice cream and cake.  What kind of cake?” </p><p>“White with whipped frosting.”  Jolene beams when Pooch shrugs.  “I know my woman.  I may not have been there for most of James’ pregnancy, but I know you.” </p><p>Jolene laughs.  “Go get me cake and ice cream.” </p><p>“Strawberry ice cream, right?”  Jake gets to his feet, finding his phone.  When Jolene nods, he leans down and kisses her again.  “So happy.  I’ll be back.”</p><p>He gets to the local grocery store that has a bakery and peruses the cakes.  He feels a presence next to him and he stiffens a little but keeps looking over the cakes.  “Hey Cougar.” </p><p>“Hello, Jake.”  </p><p>“So...  How’ve you been?”</p><p>“I miss you.”</p><p>“Miss you too.”  Jake lifts one of the bigger cakes up, setting it in the cart he’d grabbed.  “You understand why I did what I did, right?” </p><p>“I do.  I do not like it.  But you have the right to your feelings.” </p><p>“And you have the right to yours.”  Jake faces Cougar, lifting his gaze to meet Cougar’s.  “I...  Will you come to my sister’s house?  Now?  I gotta grab some ice cream, but I want you to come over.  The family doesn’t feel complete without you there.” </p><p>“Elizabeth will not be happy with either of us.” </p><p>“She said it was my call.”  Jake holds his hand out.  “Please, Cougs?” </p><p>“Si, I will go with you.  I do not have my own vehicle, so may I get a ride with you?” </p><p>“Yeah.  Of course.”  Jake smiles and leads the way over to the ice cream.  He grabs the biggest thing of strawberry, and then a couple of smaller cartons of Haagen Daas.  He smiles a little at Cougar before he leads the way to the register.</p><p>On the way home, Jake looks over at Cougar as they sit at a stoplight.  “I want to spend some time with you.  Maybe you could help me look for some renovation properties.  I want to rebuild houses, maybe donate them to shelters or whatever.” </p><p>“That sounds like a good idea.  The others will not mind me helping?” </p><p>“Not since it was my idea.”</p><p>Cougar nods and reaches over, forcing Jake to look forward to the light that’s now green.  Jake laughs a little and starts forward again. </p><p>Much later that evening, Cougar, Jake and Pooch make their way outside.  Jolene and Jess are getting the kids to bed and have left the men to their own devices.  Cougar looks up, staring at the starry sky.  Pooch bumps him, smiling.  “You happy about being an uncle again?” </p><p>Cougar smiles and nods.  “Very.  I’m happy for you and Jolene.  I hope you give us many more nieces and nephews in the future.”</p><p>“Well, that’ll be Jo’s choice, but I wouldn’t mind.”  He glances over to where Jake has moved to the swing set.  “He loves you.” </p><p>“I know.  But he can’t forget that he thought I was dead.  He can’t forgive me for not coming to find him sooner.”  Cougar laughs, the sound not carrying beyond the two men on the porch.  “You would think he’d know better, since he’s the one who created your identities and hid you.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, love doesn’t make sense.”  Pooch turns when he hears Jolene calling him.  “I gotta go say goodnight to Pup.  Go talk to him.” </p><p>Cougar nods and waits until the door is shut before he joins Jake on the swing set.  “Did you build this?” </p><p>Jake nods, staring up at the stars.  “For Bethie and Pup.”  </p><p>Cougar waits, figuring it won’t be long before Jake speaks again.  Instead, Jake starts swinging back and forth, never moving his gaze from the stars.  It’s several moments of silence before Cougar breaks it.  “Jake?” </p><p>Jake finally looks over at Cougar.  “I want to just forgive and forget, but I can’t.  I don’t know that I ever will.”  He licks his lips and looks down at his lap.  There is several more moments of silence before Jake continues.  “I’m not the man I used to be.  Neither are you.  I think we need to...move forward.  And by that, I mean, we take our time getting to know each other again.  I can’t rush in.”  There’s another pause, then Jake continues, “I’m going to stay here.  Over the garage.  You have a place that’s not a hotel?” </p><p>“I am staying at Pooch and Jolene’s.  Over their garage.  I don’t see Jolene much, but Pooch comes to check on me often.” </p><p>“Good.”  Jake chews on his lip, shifting in his swing.  “I’m sorry that everyone seems to be taking my side.” </p><p>“It is not your fault.  I won’t say I should’ve tried harder, because I did what I could, but I do regret I couldn’t find you sooner, so you didn’t have to suffer so much.”</p><p>Jake huffs and starts spinning his swing in a circle.  “There were days I didn’t think I could keep going.”</p><p>“Lo siento.” </p><p>“Don’t apologize.  Just...  This is hard for me to talk about.  It’s some deep shit and I don’t know how much of it I can get through.” </p><p>Cougar opens his mouth to speak, but closes it just as quickly.  His mind races to the worst things, but he doesn’t know how to ask. </p><p>“I never tried to kill myself.  I wouldn’t do that to Beth or Jess.  And I couldn’t do that to Pooch or Jolene either.”  He lets out a long, heavy breath.  “I...”  He looks up at a noise from the porch.  “Jessie?” </p><p>“Beth wants you to come say goodnight, Jake.”  </p><p>Jake is on his feet and heading inside.  “Can I read her a couple of stories?” </p><p>“Of course.  I’ll see Carlos to the door.” </p><p>Jake pauses at the doorway.  “Jessie, be nice.  Cougs...”  He smiles a little.  “I’ll see you later.” </p><p>Cougar smiles a little and nods.  Once Jake is inside, Cougar gets to his feet and walks towards Jess.  “I don’t want to hurt him.  I love him.  I never stopped.  I never will.  All I want is to have him back in my life.  I will go at his comfort level, but if he invites me over, I will not say no.” </p><p>“I know you never meant to hurt him.  I know you never meant to leave him.”  Jess looks down.  “Even if he doesn’t forgive you, I need your promise that you will always watch out for him.  He won’t let me do it anymore.  Not like he used to.  And he thinks I don’t know how hard a time he had, but...  Just take care of him.”</p><p>“I will always take care of him.  Whenever possible.” </p><p>Jess nods.  “Be safe, Carlos.” </p><p>Cougar nods and lets himself through the side gate, making his way back to Pooch and Jolene’s house.  He walks slowly, glancing up at the stars every so often.  He will make it up to Jake and he will earn Jake’s forgiveness.  And Beth will hopefully forgive him too.</p>
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